If you are about to get married; if you are a believer in "a man is king of his castle" -STOP. Do not read this post.
What is wrong with men? In particular, older men. Why is it they can find the most unimportant, nothing-to-do-with-them moments and get so bent out of shape, they ruin your day? Why is the simplest thing such a big deal, that they go on a rant that any sane person would find irrational?
Case in point: Son-who-is-living -with-us has a crapload of auto parts stored at the old farm house, which we use for our own storage. They've been there for 5 months. Now our stuff is in no particular order - especially when I ask BH to take something over there; it gets dropped where he finds a space. I do attempt to organize things a few times a year - garden things, Holiday things,craft things, household things and yard sale items - all in there alloted spaces. He has a room for all his fishing gear and boat items as well as the basement for tools, chopped wood and the shed for yard equipment.
Me: "I need to go over and find my vegetarian cookbooks I told a gal at work she could have".
Him: "Where are they; I'll get them".
Me: "They're in a box marked "ebay books" on the steel shelving unit on the left side of the back room, bottom shelf towards the picnic bench". Was this too much information? No. Same man I tell "the salsa is in the fridge; second shelf from the top; behind the bowl of salad; next to the loaf of bread. You have to move the salad".
Get my drift?
2 minutes later: He comes back. "They're not there". He sits in a chair; scowl on his face, starring out the window.
Me:"What's wrong?" And we're off!!! Here we go:
BH: " they're not there. There's only a box of computer magazines" (son's). You can't find anything over there; everything is a big mess; you can't even walk around over there; boxes everywhere; it's a sh****ing mess!" (His voice is getting louder and deeper).
Me:"Ok. ok. I'll go over. If I see the box, I'll know it's the one. Maybe I put them somewhere else".
BH: "I'll go with you."
Me: "Oh, no. no. no. no. I'll look."
BH: "I'll go with you. It's slippery outside".
Well, we went and looked for the books; not there. I'll think about this later; I can't think about it now. I'll think about it tomorrow; afterall, tomorrow -- is -- another -- day! (Scarlet O'Hara).
Now the point to this little drama is this could've turned quite ugly. Men have a penchant for sulking, stewing, brooding and yelling about this most inconsequential things - things that don't matter a hill of beans, but the situation will make your stomach turn upside down and jump into your throat. Until you just want to strangle the daylights out of him - or pack his clothes and throw him out on his arse!
I have had enough drama in my life to last me forever. I have been at the mercy of other people's miserable attitudes since I can remember. At 60 years old, I want peace - and I don't care how I get it. The friggin house could blow up - I don't care. Let me be. Laugh and walk away. My mantra is: Nothing is so bad that it can't be worse. These are the words I live by.
The problem is, this is not an isolated incident. He tends to explode over the stupidest, unimportant things lately. Yes, I know our life isn't the same with someone else living here. Yes, I know things are hectic, unco-ordinated and messy. HELLOOO! You, dear sir, are not the only one going through this. Chill!
My dad was and is the same way, so I grew up with this scenario. I don't know how he and my mom made it through 61 years and counting.
I didn't have to go to work today; not enough rooms to clean. Yea! I get to stay home. I should've gone to work. Or somewhere. And scream. And think "the Amazons had it right - mate with them, then kill them".
However, I do have to go to work tonight. See? Nothing's so bad, it can't be worse!
1 month ago